Day 6: THE FINAL POST!!

It's with a heavy heart (and probably a harder working one) that I sit down to write this post. This past week has been an utter BLAST and we truly loved sharing it with everyone who wanted to tag along.

But enough of that sappy stuff for now, we have one hell of a day to talk about!

Waking up in El Paso this morning, we certainly weren't leaving this somewhat strange city without taking advantage of what we knew it had to do well: MEXICAN FOOD.

Now we've both been to Mexico before and El Paso looked more like Mexico than Mexico did. And for good reason! My geography buffs get your maps out again and you'll see quickly that El Paso is a stone's throw away from Mexico. And by that, I mean you could literally throw a stone and it would easily be in Mexico. El Paso is big. Like, really big. But not even HALF of it is in the USA. El Paso and it's adjacent Mexican neighbor called Ciudad Juarez makes up a metro area of almost 2.2 million people. WHO KNEW??

Back to my point: Mexican culture here is its culture. And that means some of the most authentic food you could probably find in the States. Well, after our research, we find out while the area does any Mexican food well, its signature dish is the Beef Machaca.

"What are you guys putting into your bodies now?"

Well Machaca is a traditional way of cooking beef or pork that originated in northern Mexico where the meat is aged in hot chili's before it is cooked and served. And when it is served in El Paso, its on a plate mixed in with eggs, cheese and other chili's. Basically, no way in HELL were passing that up. So we find the place that supposedly does it best: Kiki's Restaurant and Bar in El Paso's historic Manhattan Heights neighborhood.

This city is just crazy. Driving to the restaurant we kept saying to each other we felt like we were in an international city. Such a strange feeling. But we finally arrived at the acclaimed Kiki's!!

As expected, no frills here! So we head inside and found a cozy little Mexican restaurant, which at 11:00am was quickly starting to fill up. The wait staff was SO friendly and immediately started asking who we were and where we came from (we stuck out at a place like this). Well, we told them we came for the Machaca and they said we came to the right place! Our waiter told us to also get the chicken enchiladas with green sauce. Umm, FINE BY US!

Few minutes later, this appears in front of us: 

The dish at the top is the Machaca. 

Sean is an LA native and I've resided there for over 3 years now, so we know our fair share of great Mexican food. But Kiki's put just about all of those to shame. In fact, absolutely all of them. The enchiladas were incredible (and we've ALL had enchiladas before) so this was a tough sell. But it exceeded all expectations. And as for the Machaca (with brisket) was over the top. You could tell immediately the difference in cooking technique and thats a good thing. The combination with the eggs and other chili's was perfect, and made for what has to be the memorable Mexican dish I've EVER had. And thats the last thing I thought I would say walking out of this place. Once again, we are left dumbfounded by this trip. 

And with that, its back on the road. Time to leave this grand state of Texas. You've been a great host. 

It doesn't take more than 15 minutes and we've left Texas in the dust and entered New Mexico: The Land of Enchantment. But this is southern New Mexico, and all enchantment was replaced by what has to be the closest thing to the surface of Mars that exists on Earth. There was something stunning about it all, but I'll leave it at that. A few weird series of billboards advertising such things as "THE THING!!" and "11,000 years of civilization" did keep our interest for awhile. Also, apparently we crossed over the continental divide. In Colorado? Thats awesome. New Mexico, yeah, not so much. 

For those curious, it looked something like this:

But before long we we through New Mexico and into Arizona, headed towards our second pit stop for the day. TUCSON!! 

Our culinary adventures take us here for a Tucson staple: The Sonoran Style Hot Dog. 

But before we do that, we swing by a strange thing that this desert city has and I call it the "airplane graveyard". Basically, its a massive MASSIVE field of all different kinds of now defunct airplanes dating back to the 1940's. It was cool as it was bizarrely ominous. Sean summed it up nicely by stating, "I'm surprised Michael Bay hasn't tried to blow it up in one of his movies yet". 

I agreed. 

HOT DOG TIME!!

And this provided us with a first on our trip. A FOOD WAR!! See, Tucson has a few places that claim to do the Sonoran dog the best, but the two that claim top prizes are El Guero Canelo and BK Hot Dogs. And what are the chances! Both lie within blocks of each other in the same south Tucson neighborhood. Well, that means one thing: We're trying both!

First up: 

And out comes THIS:

So THATS a Sonoran Dog everyone. 

We house that fairly quickly and walk across the street to:

Quick couple brownie points awarded to BK right off the bat for having this guy:

So, we take down the BK version (which upon sight didn't look all that different than El Guero's) but after eating both, our winner is....

EL GUERO CANELO!! 

Both were awesome, but El Guero Canelo had a little more kick to its bite (which we LOVE). I'm from Chicago, so like to think I know good hotdogs (ok, I do). And the thing that I noticed about both that separated themselves from other hotdogs I've had was the BUN. Both places did them amazingly. Soft, tender, and wrapped around the dog almost like a pocket. It was delicious!! Most times its the bun that ruins a decent hotdog, but in the case of the Sonoran, its what made it. 

Not wasting a beat, we continue north, pass through downtown and stop by the VERY beautiful University of Arizona campus. Tucson is not without its rough edges, but the mountainous desert setting made it all incredibly peaceful. Oh, and STUNNING sunsets. 

Later Tucson. 

We book it up the 1-10 and in about an hour and a half arrived at our final destination before Los Angeles: Phoenix, Arizona. 

Having spent the last 6 days eating just about every regional food there is in this country and arriving in a fairly worldly city such as Phoenix, we decided the wipe our palate clean. INDIAN FOOD! And boy did we find an awesome one. Tucked away in an ethnic neighborhood of Tempe, Arizona we landed at a quaint little place called The Dhaba. 

Ordered our favorite go-to Indian dishes and BOOM, our table turns into heaven:

If you have yet to discover Indian food, I'll pray for you cause there is NOTHING like amazing Indian food (and nothing like shitty Indian food either). But luckily here, we're talking about the first. The tikki marsala was creamy goodness and the Lamb Palak was it's trusty standby self as always. And that garlic naan? Couldnt get enough of it. The owner of the place was this sweet little lady who came by the table often to make sure everything was to our liking. Though perhaps a strange choice, it was a perfectly ironic send-off to this culinary expedition across America. 

And with that, we say good bye!! We'll be back in Los Angeles early tomorrow morning and real life (and regular diets) unfortunately begin again. 

We cant really put into words how awesome these last 6 days have been for us. 10 states and over 3,000 miles, we carved our way through some of the greatest cities and restaurants this country has to offer. Chicago, St. Louis, Memphis, Jackson, New Orleans, Lafayette, Houston, Austin, El Paso, Tucson, and Phoenix. Wow. We wont forget you. And each one showed us why THEY do culinary right. But above all of the beautiful skylines and incredible dishes we saw and ate, it was the people we met and the hospitality we were given that made this trip truly remarkable. From the our waiter at Rendez-vous in downtown Memphis who has been working the same shift late-night for over 30 years, to the little old ladies still refilling the bins of fried chicken at Two Sisters in Jackson, or the bartender in New Orleans who saw his entire neighborhood wiped out 7 years ago but still comes back to the only place he knows, YOU are the real inspiration. 

Flying is quick and convenient and for all intents and purposes, what we all have to do. But for anyone who ever has a chance to get in the car and just GO, please don't ever turn it down. The places you see, the people you meet, and the memories you create, all out way those long travel days in the car. I love this country. And the truly amazing people we have in it. Only trips like these can remind us of that. It's not about politics, its not about religion. It's about human decency and accepting our differences. And believe me, we're not nearly as different as we all think. 

Oh and eating some goddamn AMAZING food along the way.  

Thats all for now everybody! Thanks for hanging along for the ride.

See you next time!

Day 4 and 5: Austin and the Western Abyss

FULL DAY IN AUSTIN Y'ALL!!!

And it couldn't come at a better time. Turns out driving 8+ hours every day is EXHAUSTING. So, this full day of rest and relaxation (ok, neither of those things ended up happening) was more than needed.

Finally also able to sleep in for the first time this trip, we woke up with solid nights sleep and headed out to see what else the coolest city in America had for us. So just a few blocks walk away from the hotel, we head right for THIS big guy:

We then realized we're actually accidentally on a Capitals tour. (Austin, Baton Rouge, Jackson, and Springfield, IL.) I know, Springfield didn't make the blog but if you've ever been to Springfield, you'll know why. 

Also, notice my shirt. That's a Michigan jersey. More on that later. 

From there, we head North towards the University of Texas campus and, of course, their football stadium. Anyone who knows me long enough knows that I have an utter fascination with colleges and their stadiums, so this was a BIG one the list! Just a few blocks away from the capital we turn the corner and WA-BAM!

They unfortunately wouldn't let us into the stadium (it was GameDay in Austin as well), so if you're confused at all where the stadium is in this picture Helper Sean is there to guide you. 

We walk around the campus a bit more and then realize we're in CENTRAL TEXAS. It may late October but the humidity has other plans. Good thing I wore an undershirt. We hop on some (air-conditioned!) public transportation and head down to 6th Street, the nightlife hub of all of Austin and maybe the universe. Also, more on this later.

But for now, we had ONE intention on 6th Street. Finding a bar who could tolerate my screaming during the Michigan Football game. Well, that was easy enough. We plop down at the classiest little establishment in Austin called Bikini's (you called it, the girls are all in Bikini's). But if we're being honest here, the place should really be called Lower Back Tats. But I digress. They tolerated my rapid swing of emotions during the game and had surprisingly GREAT fish tacos (thats in reference to nothing but the menu item). So we enjoyed the place. 

Whoever follows me on twitter knows how the Michigan game ended up, so we don't need to touch on that too much, but I knew the outcome of the game would largely impact the rest of our day. So YAY! MICHIGAN WINS!!! 

Carpe Diem bitches. 

We head back to the hotel, get in the car, and head about 20 minutes Southeast of Austin to a small little town called Driftwood, Texas. 

"Are you guys crazy?!? Why would leave Austin??" 

I'll tell you. For one very specific, important reason. THIS:

The drive out here was BEAUTIFUL. The area surrounding Austin is equally as awesome as the city itself. We round the bend of a long curvy country road and see this sign and possibly the largest parking lot I've EVER seen for a restaurant. Seriously, I've seen smaller MALL parking lots. But every single spot in the lot is filled. (The best sign for ANY restaurant). 

There's also a guy driving a tram around the parking lot, in case, you wanted to get picked up and driven to the front. American obesity is real.

We opt to WALK and as soon as we get close the front, my mouth already starts to drop. This isn't a restaurant, its one GIGANTIC ranch house. There's a bit of a wait, so we put our name in and begin to take in everything this wonderful place has for us. Salt Lick is BYOB, meaning that when you're waiting for your table (and AT your table) you can drink you're own booze. So everyone brings coolers FULL of their drink of choice and sits around and takes in the beautiful surroundings. There's a fresh lemonade stand, free popcorn, a winery (!) and even a little stage where a local country band is performing. 

I honestly felt like I was at the largest family reunion of all time. Not a restaurant. So I'm in love. But just wait everyone. Just wait. 

Before long, our little buzzer thing we're holding goes off and we SPRINT to the front desk lady, eagerly waiting for her to seat us. 

She grins and begins to take us through the many open rooms of this ranch house filled with happy patrons. 

Lets just ONE ROOM! So cool.

AND THEN. We round a corner and our eyes fall onto THIS:

I'm sorry. Lets see this again without my stunned self in frame. 

Apologies to my vegetarian followers, but thats quite possibly the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life. 

The waitress is now carrying us to our seats because my knees gave out after seeing the meat pit. Finally put at our table, we know exactly what we're ordering. I mean, its the ONLY thing you order at Salt Lick BBQ. The all-you-can-eat, Family-style BBQ celebration. In other words, eat everything you can. So in a matter of minutes, this is our table:

This is my happy place. 

Now, let me say this. There is NO WAY we can compare the food we've had on this trip. New Orleans Creole is totally different than Memphis dry rub BBQ which is totally different than St. Louis's BLT which is TOTALLY different than Jackson's soul food. They each stand by themselves. 

However, this has been the best overall experience thus far on the trip. The BBQ was astonishing. You didn't even need to chew the sausage and brisket. It just melted in your mouth. Even the bread you see in that picture was some of the best bread I've ever had. But I say "overall" because the food was one thing, but the atmosphere, the surroundings, THE MEAT PIT, the service, and the history of this place combine to make what has to be one of America's top culinary destinations. Fly to Austin and come to Driftwood. It changes you. 

Ps: They give you to-go boxes. So if you want to take some home, they're give you AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. 

We opted out of that. I was blurry-eyed as it was. 

So, we headed back to Austin and had a few hours to desperately digest the food because we had a night on the town planned!!

Well, we manage to do just that and eventually take the walk down to what locals call "The Dirty 6". It's 6th Street. And it looks like this:

Texas know how to do it. 

So we begin our journey into the night. The bars are stacked on top of each other in this town, each with guys who stand out front and scream at you to come into THEIR bar and take advantage of THEIR drink specials. "$1 beers! $3 shots!". Trouble. 

So we drink things like this: 

Thats whats called a Captain America "shot". And I say shot cause you're required to chug it. TEXAS!

Can't say 6th Street is my normal crowd or scene, but the people-watching was stupendous. It was a mix of UT sorority sisters, overwhelmed tourists, and locals who crawled in from the surrounding Hill Country. 

I was called a "Yankee" for the first time in my life. And at the end of the day, what more could you want than that.

GOOD NIGHT AUSTIN!!!

DAY 5: The Western Abyss. 

Honestly guys. Not much happened yesterday. And you can thank West Texas for that. 

We spent the morning in Austin (watching our NFL teams of course). And I think we were also just dreading the drive we had ahead of us. 

So, obviously, we went back to Bikini's to watch our NFL games. And outside of both our teams winning (GO PACKERS!), the other thing of note was that I became a sought-after centerpiece in a scavenger hunt that was happening in Austin. 

Apparently, this city-wide scavenger hunt required the teams to go to Bikini Bar and find someone (on NFL Sunday) who was wearing a non-Texas college t-shirt. GUESS WHAT Y'ALL! That meant ME. I was literally the ONLY one who fit the requirement. So basically, every 5 minutes I had a new team of people in themed costumes asking to take my picture.  It was LeakyCon Part 2. 

The bar felt bad for me (though I didn't mind one bit, I LOVE scavenger hunts) so they gave us free beer for the remainder we were there. HUZZAH!

Well, thats all from Austin!! Honestly, this city lived up to ALL of its hype. I'm in love. Its a place that takes one day for you to realize you could move there tomorrow. Cool people, amazing food, great nightlife, great music, and MORE than enough culture. 

I'll certainly be back. 

Westward bound! Destination: El Paso, Texas. 

I see your scoffing. In all honesty, this was a place to sleep. (It should be noted that on our longest driving leg of the trip, we didn't leave the state). TEXAS IS HUGE. 

The next 8 hours consisted of pretty vistas overlooking Texas Hill Country, quaint little tourist towns (Fredericksburg!) and oddly named ones (Johnson City: Home of Lyndon B. Johnson...so...what was its name BEFORE he became president?)

Amazingly there's no good way to get out of Austin (and I think they intend to keep it that way). But when the biggest form of entertainment is the SMACK of gigantic bugs hitting your windshield, you know you are in trouble. We did pass a tiny store called The Wonderful World of Things. Which given its name, was surprisingly small. But props the owners. You can literally sell ANYTHING you want. 

Well, we eventually made it to El Paso. And thats all I need to write about that. We were starving when we arrived so we went right to the local El Paso gem: 

And ate their WORLD CLASS PIZZA!!!!!

Ok who are we kidding. We both got stomach aches. 

Alright everybody!! Thats it for now! But today (Day 6) has some AWESOME stops along the way. See you Phoenix!!

Bye NOW!

Day 3: The Reckoning

Needless to say, this mornings wake-up call came PARTICULARLY early. Even though I felt like my face head been inflated, sat on, and then popped, we had to push through. Today was the biggest travel day yet!

But not before we wrapped up some loose ends in New Orleans of course. Having been recommended by nearly every person with a functioning vocabulary, we stumble down to the iconic Cafe Du Monde.

Right off of Jackson Square and steps from the banks of the Mississippi River, this outdoor cafe opened its doors in 1862. I know for some of my Europeans out there, you have pairs of socks older than that, but for America, thats basically ancient Egypt. 

Either way, I came to the conclusion on the walk over that I was not going to be taking off my sunglasses for the remainder of the morning. We are briskly sat at an outdoor table, and I'm finally relieved of the responsibility of keeping myself up-right. Also the table had a nice spot for me to rest my head. Thats all anyone could ask for at this point. 

So we ordered their famous Cafe au Lait and two orders of beignets and sat in total silence. It was golden. 

But then our luck started to change as soon this glorious sight appeared before us:

I die. 

This was everything and more that we needed. Two sips of that coffee and a bite of the beignet and our morning haze quickly became an after thought. Coffee's always been old go-to of mine after long nights but I've NEVER had a quicker turnaround than this morning. Both things you see in that picture were unreal. Absolutely blew me away. I want to wake up to those two things every morning, long night or not. I think they possibly have magical powers. And it occurred me, OF COURSE THEY DO. They've had 150 years to figure out what cures a hangover the best. And in this city, you've got plenty of patients. 

Deep breath. Today will be great after all. Not sparing any time we head back to the hotel, pack up, and head out! Not before swinging by the famed Garden District just southeast of the French Quarter. Lined with gorgeous mansions and towering Oak trees, this neighborhood is every bit as impressive as its slightly more famous neighbor to the North. The only thing I didn't like about it was that we didn't get more time there. But one last time for good measure: New Orleans is Magnificent. 

Back on the road! We had a long day ahead of us, headed to the place where everything is bigger: Texas!

But it wasnt without its trials. Passing through the NOT pretty town Baton Rouge (where literally every street was being torn to all hell) we come to find out our highway is just flat out SHUT DOWN. For a good 90 miles. Awesome. So, after spotting LSU's not-as-big-as-Michigan's-football-stadium, we are rerouted to some ungodly stretch of pavement the state of Louisiana calls "the 190". Awful. It passes through nothing and you gain nothing. Except back spasms. I got those alright. 

And since everyone and their mothers are being detoured on this Road to Sodom, the tiny confines of its two lanes are quickly jammed and we're in bumper to bumper traffic in THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. Hey! Guess who's back!?!

My hangover. 

Sean's too. Though it becomes clear his maybe had never left. Give it about 5 more minutes, we're officially pulled over on the highway and my road trip companion was bent over on the grass, ready to pull that trigger. [fill in details here]. What a rock star.

It was nice to see the verbal encouragement from the cars slowly passing by us too. It really became a group effort for everyone. You're support means everything Louisiana. 

We had circled this day of driving as one that would probably suck and it more than lived up to its expectations. Finally getting back to actual interstate, we get our bearings and start in on our next food mission. 

While New Orleans is all about Creole, its south central Louisiana thats the real CAJUN COUNTRY. Going off a recommendation from a bartender in New Orleans, we pit stopped in the capital of cajun country: Lafayette, Louisiana. Oh Lordy was this a treat. No tourists here folks. This was at its very core real Cajun, served by locals and eaten by locals. We wind our way through the ruggedly rural streets of Lafayette and land here. 

Johnson's Boucaniere. The fact that its called a Boucaniere speaks for itself but walking into this place was stepping not only into another era, but maybe another country. The biggest culture shock we've encountered thus far. The workers behind the counter had a slang term for everything and I didn't know a single one of them. Both parties realized quickly that we come from two VERY different America's and that thats awesome!! They were elated to have us and we couldnt have been happier to be there. 

The place was essentially a general store/deli for the community with several different cajun foods to order. But we came for ONE thing: Boudin. Whats that? Well, we still couldn't really tell you. Its sausage...lets leave it at that. But this type of Boudin is not only unique to Louisiana but unique to Lafayette. This is the only town in the world that makes this Boudin. And it was unlike anything I've ever had. 

So not the most appetizing looking thing we've posted on here, but make no mistake, it was AWESOME. The texture of the sausage was completely different. It was softer and smoother. Not crunchy. And thats more gumbo to the left. And I gotta hand it to them. It was better than Parkway. But to Parkway's credit, they were the ones who told us to come here for the gumbo. Good food knows other good food. 

Back on the road!! We quickly make it into Texas state borders and head to that steaming Gulf metropolis locals call Houston. 

Sean's family is from Houston so he felt immediately at home. Though we were just passing through, we had to stop at the one place Sean couldn't go without seeing:

Reliant Stadium. Home of the Houston Texans. Most famous for the Packer beatdown that occurred here just last Sunday. So, I was equally as starstruck. The structure is MASSIVE, as you can see, and we got the deluxe tour right to the field. It was awesome.

Well that was a fun change of pace. But our eyes were set on our final destination for the weekend: AUSTIN, TEXAS!!!!

Another amazing city I have never been to, I can already say I'm stupidly in love with it. Utterly exhausted from the day and double digit drive time, we kept it quiet tonight. But we were OBVIOUSLY still hungry for dinner. So off we went to Magnolia's! Known as probably the most famous breakfast place in all of Austin, we decided to beat the morning rush and go get some breakfast for dinner! Why the hell not! So we take the quick drive down Congress Street and across the river. Is there ANY neighborhood in this city that isn't cool? Its seriously mind-boggling. Everything has an identity, a pulse, and more character than you know. Also food trucks. But we'll get to that tomorrow. In the meantime, we had arrived!

We're in central Texas y'all, and that means one thing: Tex Mex!! And at Magnolias, that means MIGAS. 

"What the hell are migas?!?"

Well, THIS:

Basically egg-slop-mexican-goodness. 

It was exactly what the doctor prescribed. You basically make your own breakfast taco out of it, so the slop factor is completely up to your own discretion:

Enough said. 

The interior of the place was so cool, our ultra-hipster waitress helped us plan out our nightlife for the weekend and, come on, WE HAD BREAKFAST FOR DINNER!!

I'd recommend doing this because word on the street is during actual breakfast hours, the wait time can be in the hours. YEESH!

Alright folks, I think we're all caught up!! Another day in the books and tomorrow is a biggie. We're staying here in Austin but we've got ALOT of cool things planned. STAY TUNED!!

Bye now!

Day 2 Part 2: Getting Bourbon Faced on Shit Street.

Sorry for the delay in posts! It's been wild and busy day to say the LEAST. So, where were we..

OH YES.

Jackson, Mississippi. So, having completed that unimaginably epic soul food showdown at Two Sisters and cleaning up the pieces that was our Americana epiphany, we headed out to explore this surprising little city.

Well we didn't have to walk very far. Turned the corner and BOOM:

Thats a state capital y'all!

So we quickly took some time out of our day to show Jackson just how appreciative we were of their wonderful hospitality. 

JUMP MONTAGE!!!

Shameless.  

So completely re-energized and embarrasingly out of breath, we hike up the hill to investigate further. 

We walk in and my new found love for taking pictures on my iPhone while other people are talking to me provides me with THIS:

You're welcome. Thats the inside looking up into the dome!

Having gotten my clutch picture for the blog, we should have turned around right then and there, and headed back for the car. 

Well, we don't. And we pay the price. 

Before I could even put my phone away, OUT OF NOWHERE crawls the sweetest, kindest, and clearly most bored woman in the state of Mississippi. Ms. Clarabelle. The capital buildings official tour guide. 

We're fucked. 

Before either of us knew what was going on, we were completely engulfed in a FULL FLEDGED ARCHITECTURAL TOUR of the building.  Now I like architecture as much as the next person, but we were on a tight schedule and Clarabelle's talking pace was of serious concern. And she kept referencing all the other wings of building she couldn't wait to show us. How do we get out of this? She was SO sweet and SO excited that we were there and listening to her, but I have a hunch we'd still be there with her if we didn't act fast. 

I contemplated just running. Or faking stomach congestion. Keep in mind the meal we just came from. 

Well, finally Sean broke through and explained how we didnt have time to do this, as I fought back vomit cause I felt so bad. But Clarabelle's a strong bitch. She understood. We quickly scanned the very impressive Senate and House of Rep wings, snapped this photo:

And headed out. PHEW. Crisis averted. 

I DO want to note that as we were briskly walking through the Senate, we passed a very official looking man in one seat, surfing a gun-holster website with his credit card IN HAND. Amen. 

Peace out Jackson!! It's been more than real. So after finally getting back onto the highway, dodging this FINAL DESTINATION truck of loose tree trunks,

We were heading south to the one and only NEW ORLEANS!!

Neither one of us had ever been to this magnificent city before, so the anticipation was about at fever pitch as we crossed into Louisiana state borders and headed STRAIGHT into the Bayou. Taking 1-55 South in New Orleans has to be one of the coolest grand entrances to any city in America. About 30 miles outside the city, solid ground VANISHES and you're on an elevated byway crossing through jaw-droppingly untouched swamp land. The swamp trees aren't tall and the highway is very high, so you're literally cruising almost at the tree's canopies. We felt like we were on the Jetsons. 

Did I mention New Orleans is magnificent? Well, it deems another mention. And there isn't any other place really even close to it. Much like San Francisco, being within the city limits you realize that there isn't any other place in the WORLD like where you are right now. And thats incredible. 

Our hotel was right on Bourbon Street and walking up to check-in, we immediately got the sense that we were at LEAST 5 drinks behind everyone else in sight. At least. I was wearing an "Adventures in Babysitting" t-shirt (you know, the 80's movie) and this middle-aged woman came up me, read my shirt, hugged me and gave me her number saying that, "we should chat". I'll probably call her. 

So, with about three hours of sunlight and probably 50+ bars in any given direction, we set out to see the sites and drink the drinks. 

 Oh hey there Bourbon Street!

Whats up, Jackson Square?

Seriously this city is beautiful. 

So having walked around a good chunk on the French Quarter and threw caution to the wind and ordered ourselves some Hurricanes (all puns intended), we were getting hungry. (If you don't know what a Hurricane drink is, google it. Actually don't. I'd rather not know what was in it.)

Being in New Orleans is a foodie's sex dream. So you have to know what you want. And that we did. One New Orleans most famous creations: The Po'Boy. 

There's literally a po'boy shop on every corner in the French Quarter and every person will tell you a different place that has the best one. But who do you think we are? We did are own research beforehand and landed on PARKWAY BAKERY AND TAVERN in mid-city. Not even close to being within walking distance of Bourbon Street and hurricanes fully digested, it was time for....drum roll....DRUNK ADVENTURES!!!

New Orleans has some pretty nifty streetcars for public transportation, so we hop on one (clearly the wrong one), hop on another (who discontinues cause of construction) and FINALLY land on the right one. With the help of the always friendly locals (a running theme this trip), we head about 20 minutes away from the beads, drinks, and tourists of the French Quarter and into real 'NOLA. Getting off the bus, we had about a 10 minute through a very cool, no frills New Orleans neighborhood. Only to find out later that this area was one of the hardest hit by Hurricane Katrina only 7 years ago. The whole neighborhood was devastated by over 10 feet of water flooding their homes and streets. Even now, we could see the recovery very much in progress. But we also saw a lot of awesome revitalization already in place and happy, smiling, beautiful people enjoying THEIR city. 

FOOD TIME!!

How cool is this place? We quickly realize our trip away from tourist central was WELL worth it. Opened in '30's, Parkway has closed three times for Hurricanes and related floods. But it keeps coming back. And we know why now:

THIS.

Thats a half shrimp, half catfish po'boy with a bowl of Alligator sausage gumbo. You heard that right. And it effing ROCKED. Staying within the theme of most other meals we've had so far, it was so great because it was SO simple. 5 ingredients. But less is always more when you've got so much care going into those 5 ingredients, including some of the best/freshest seafood you can have. And the alligator gumbo? Delicious. I've had alligator before and its not scary. It's perfect. Home run Parkway, HOME RUN. 

Now back to Bourbon we go!! The night is young after all. We take in everything the French Quarter has for us, even venture down to Frenchman street, where we spot our first ever Southern hipsters (!!!). A woman came up to us and asked if we wanted to hire her as a poet. Oh and we drank a LOT of Abita Beer. 

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd good night!

Day 2: Magnolia's and the start of our demise.

Well, we made it everyone! The tornados cleared Memphis without anyone (except the screaming weatherman on the TV) giving two shits about it. GOOD MORNING MEMPHIS! You look quite different in the daylight...

Like this PIECE looming over their skyline for example:

I'm sorry, what?!

Memphis with their very own Luxor Hotel? Why didn't you say so!! Well, not so fast. We couldn't find a straight answer from ANYONE in this town as to what this was and why in Lord's name it was here. Even asked the front desk of our hotel what the PURPOSE of it was and the look across his face was as if I told him to switch to a new God I just came up with the night before. He stammered, took a deep breath, and slowly muttered "...nothing...".

Point taken. Peace out Memphis.

Ok, ALMOST. Headed South, we were beckoned one last time to the place where every Memphis visit wouldn't be complete without: Graceland.

Thats right. The homestead of America's first pop icon and all-around bad ass, Elvis Presley. Taking the exit off of the freeway, we were immediately greeted with ELVIS PRESLEY BLVD, three trinket/memorabilia shops, sandwiched in between a falling over Long John Silvers. Hell had finally come to Earth folks.

I'm going on a hunch and saying this was NOT how this street looked when millionaire Presley was searching for peaceful estates outside the city limits. It was a total mess. Elvis's Estate aside, this was an American hellscape created by what has to be the worst humans imaginable. There were made up museums, anonymous t-shirt stands, ( I think I spotted an airplane with Lisa Marie Presley's name across it). I don't know.

So, after realizing the only way into the estate was via audio group tour, and the only way into that was waiting in a line of a 150 people with the average age of DEATH, we just decided to pull over quickly, and snap this:

Great. We all got it? Good? We can move on? Ok cool.

Onwards South! Within SECONDS it seemed we had crossed into that forgotten state of Mississippi. But surprisingly so. And I say surprising because the first thing we both noticed was that Mississippi is BEAUTIFUL y'all. But beautiful in that Mary Crawley quietly terrifying type way. Striking from the outside, but say the wrong thing or make the wrong move and that shit is POPPING OFF.

Mississippi also appeared not to be too big on humans. Not a whole lot of them here, folks. What there IS alot of??

Dead Armadillos.

PS, I hate Armadillos. (Or as I call them, God's shout out to outer space). I had certainly made peace with the fact that I would probably see some on this trip, but lets wait to the desert maybe? Wrong.

So, this is the part of the blog where we talk about Ke$ha.

I've slept well at night the last few years feeling confident that Ke$ha's pop culture footprint was confined to Miami, Long Beach Gay Pride, and my theater friends workout mixes, but I'm telling you right now. MISSISSIPPI LOVES KE$HA. Every radio station had her on. At all times. I can only believe that they assume she is a mirage and/or a man-made hologram via tumblr. Both could be right.

HELLO JACKSON, MISSISSIPPI! This was a planned pit stop along our route to take in one of the true treasures the American South has to offer. SOUL FOOD.

However, the first thing we saw was this:

We'll leave it at that Jackson, MS.

Nothing full well this is a city you visit ONCE in your time on Earth, Sean and I made sure to make the most it. So we headed right for what we came for:

TWO SISTERS KITCHEN.

Tucked away in a century old Victorian House behind the state capital, I can't even begin to tell you what this place did for us.

Absolutely incredible. 

This is why I love road trips and why I love America. There I said. Take it or leave it. We walk in the door and are greeted immediately with a 12 course soul food buffet and everything else you could ever think of. And the thing you just tasted wasn't nearly as good as the next thing on your plate. Everyone was fascinated with us, and we were fascinated with them. 

The food we have had on this trip so far has been incredible. No doubt. But this meal is something I will never forget. In my life. Top 3 of all time. I love this country. Ok, I said it again. I can only sum it up like so.. 

THIS

+

THIS

=

THIS

I love you Two Sisters. You're everything that makes the world right. People were SO nice and SO interested in where we came from and who we were. Because thats the only way they know how. Inspiring stuff. 

Our waitress Celeste was the ambassador to this experience and the only reason we don't have a picture of her is because I lost feeling in my limbs 3/4 the way through the meal from food coma. Enough said. 

Ok, so this is only a half update. We have SO much more on the day and its STILL HAPPENING!! So we're gonna go experience it. Updates coming soon!!!

BYE NOW!!

Day 1: the EPIC part 2

So after clearing two INCREDIBLE meals in St. Louis and dodging around the Cardinals vs. Giants game traffic, we had headed due south for MEMPHIS, TENNESSEE!!

This also required us to go though southeastern Missouri and northern Arkansas, AKA...ANGRY BILLBOARD COUNTRY. If seeing a Waffle House every other exit wasn't enough indication that we were getting closer to the Mason-Dixon Line, the enormous billboards proclaiming why and how I shouldn't vote for a certain incumbent president sure told me. Particularly, one interesting billboard with two adorable little kids pleading to their grandparents on a paddle boat to vote for Romney/Ryan. But thats a different blog.

The mood quickly shifted upwards when we came across another billboard for "The Hushpuppy Saloon". And then to find out it was a gentlemen's club. What a treat.

As we headed more south, we entered the little foot that southeast Missouri has (gets your maps out!) and I quickly began to question why Missouri wanted to this land in the first place.

Completely exhausted with political/religious/and pro-life billboards, we entered the republic of Arkansas, only to be greeted with quite possibly the most astonishing lightning storm I've ever seen in my entire life.

Touche Arkansas! God means business here. 

You can thank @gentrypwange for that photo btw. His 2013 weather calendar is this holiday's must-have stocking stuffer. 

So continuing into the abyss that is this state, we were greeted with torrential downpours and THIS:

So after losing complete control of my bowels, and getting no help from most likely the only middle-eastern person in this state, we decided to GET THE HELL OUT. 

BUENOS DIOS MEMPHIS!!

The promised land. Right? Right???? Well, not yet. Finally arriving at our hotel, we were greeted with that true american Southern hospitality: CITY-WIDE TORNADO SIRENS!! Fearing for my entire life and Sean's, we coup up in our (9th story) hotel room huddled around the tv watching an episode of Full House. (It was the one where Uncle Jessie becomes a pop icon in Japan and it all goes RIGHT to his head). Not sure what we would have done without that. So many lessons learned. 

So, storms still going strong outside, we realize WE CAME HERE FOR A REASON. To EAT and DRINK. Enough of this pussy-footing. In a sheer downpour we left our hotel and walked to our first planned destination. The one and only Charlie Vergo's Rendez-Vous BBQ. 

Already in love with the outside of this place, we walk in and immediately become ashamed of ourselves because this place is PACKED. And packed with people who DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT A TORNADO WARNING. 100 points awarded to the House of Memphis!

So we each order this:

Thats a full slab of Memphis BBQ pork ribs y'all. And everything else Jesus wants you to eat with BBQ. I'm telling you RIGHT now. This was hands down the BEST ribs either of us has ever had. EVER. It was a traditional dry rub (snicker snicker) and I married it. You could've pulled the bones apart with your toes (I did). One of the most sensational meals I remember having, and in truly one of the coolest places I've ever been. 

If this isnt America:

Well, stomachs full and obligatory picture taken by annoyed locals:

We head to only place one thinks of when you think of Memphis:

BEALE STREET!!!

And I can't apologize enough to this city for being so late to the party but mother of god, THIS STREET IS THE BEST. Keep in mind this is a Wednesday night with a tornado warning and every bar on this street was packed, in full swing, and had live music BLARING. We're in Heaven. Beale Street is by no means a hidden American gem, but for some reason it still maintains that under the radar/we don't care what anyone else is doing feeling. And we were completely buying what they were selling. Then...BOOM!

We come across the three most important words in Memphis:

Thats what we like to call a game changer. 1,000 points awarded to Memphis!!! Our love for this city is in full affect. 

Every bar had better music than the next and better drinks than the one you just came from. Thats a city you WANT. We drank a little of that and listening to alot of this: 

And finally made it back to the hotel. PHEW. 

Day #1 is in the books y'all! We're exhausted, drunk, and ready for an even BIGGER day tomorrow. 

And trust me, today is NOTHING compared to whats on tap for Day #2. Updates galore!!

BYE NOW!